Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
