I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
