The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
now i know why i became what i already was.
do herpes really smell.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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