She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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