In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
