Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
