Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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