You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
