Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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