i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Someone signed my nipple.
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