You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
