girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
