Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
