So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
