I bet he comes in French.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
