Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
