toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
