That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
no you cant smoke seaweed
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
