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• (316): View more from Kansas

  sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.

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• (845): View more from New York

  Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me

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