physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
