like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
