I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
