i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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