drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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