So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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