It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
