I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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