How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
