So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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