Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
