My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Blood and glitter go together right?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize