I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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