Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
