Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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