she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
