drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
