We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
