Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
