windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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