I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize