coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
