I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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