Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
