Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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