Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
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do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
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Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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