Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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