Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
