Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
