NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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