If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
