Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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