...so i touched it.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
