so explain again why im purple
no
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
