it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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