So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
