OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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