so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
