dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
