if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
