I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
