How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
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Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
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Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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