He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
