I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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