Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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